Flash Fiction and Less vs. Fewer

Before I launch into my next grammar tirade, let me tout how cool my latest example is. Hint Fiction, An Anthology of Stories in 25 Words or Fewer by editor Robert Swartwood is a book of flash fiction, and if you've never tried to write a story this short before, try it. You'll find it's hard as hell. With so few words, every word has to count. Here's a beautiful example from page 85 of Hint Fiction by contributor Jason Jordan:

Take It Off

Without her knowing, Mark

posted the video. A million views meant he

had to show it to her before someone else did.

Intense stuff. Truly. So much packed into so few words.

Alright, now, having gotten my literary fix for the moment, on to the grammatical point. Note how Swartwood uses the word "fewer" in the title of the book. If you go to the grocery store, you'll notice the sign for the express lane says, "15 Items or Less." Well, sorry, Kroger, Meijer, and Mom-and-Pop Mart, but that's just plain wrong. Grammatically, it should read, "15 Items or Fewer."

The rule behind this is simple. It deals with count and noncount nouns. If a noun can be counted, you can put a number in front of it. Therefore, I can say "1 item," "2 items," "3 items," etc. If a noun is countable, the adjective that goes in front of it or modifies it is "fewer." More examples include "fewer beds," "fewer people," or "fewer headaches." I can count beds, people, and headaches, so I use "fewer" as my modifier.

In contrast, "less" is used for nouns that can't be counted. These nouns are often called "mass nouns" because the components of the noun are too small to be separated individually or the noun can't be divided at all. Mass nouns include liquids, metals, feelings, languages, and educational disciplines among other areas. Here is a short list of some mass nouns:

wood

cloth

ice
plastic
wool
steel
aluminum
metal
glass
leather
porcelain
hair
dust
air
oxygen
water
milk
wine
beer
cake
sugar
rice
meat
cheese
flour
reading
boating
smoking
dancing
soccer
hockey
weather
heat
sunshine
electricity
biology
history
mathematics
economics
poetry
Chinese
Spanish
English
luggage
equipment
furniture
experience
applause
photography
traffic
harm
publicity
homework
advice

A good example for using "less" with a mass noun comes from The Joy of Less by Francine Jay.
 

Chapter 3 of this book is titled, "Less Stuff = Less Stress." "Stuff" and "stress" are both mass nouns. They cannot be counted or divided. Therefore, I'd never say "fewer stuff" or "fewer stress." I need to use "less."
 
Hope this helps with your own editing! And now, for my own attempt at flash fiction in 25 words or less.
 

Her Biggest Fear

 

Her blog became wildly popular.

Online fame befell her until

a fellow grammarian commented on

the thirteen grammatical mistakes strewn

throughout her work.

 

Send me yours if you write one!

Can I Get a Comma with that Clause?

"What is a zombie? How are they created? What are their strengths and weaknesses? What are their needs, their desires? Why are they hostile to humanity? Before discussing any survival techniques, you must first learn what you are trying to survive."

This lovely quote comes from Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Living Dead, one of my husband's all-time favorite reads (yeah, don't ask). While it is clearly not certain whether any of us will survive the inevitable zombie apocalypse, what is certain is that Mr. Brooks (or his copy editor) has a keen sense of comma usage.

When I was in high school, my English teacher told me that if you paused during a sentence, you put a comma there. That seems like rational advice, but now I know it is completely wrong. Commas have definite homes, and it is not always where we take a breath or end a mini-thought.

One of their homes is after an adverbial clause when it comes at the beginning of a sentence, such as in "Before discussing any survival techniques, you must first learn what you are trying to survive." I've notice many of my fellow writers fail to include this comma, so let's look at the rule.

First understand that a clause is not a phrase, and a phrase is not a clause. A clause contains a subject and a verb. A phrase does not. An adverbial clause begins with an adverb that is often called a subordinating conjuction, and while this moniker sounds offensive, it is appropriate if you consider that "subordinating" means "lessening" or "making something below something else." An adverbial clause begins with a subordinating conjunction because it can never stand on its own; it is reliant on another, more independent clause for meaning.

Therefore, I could never say, "Before discussing any survival techniques," and then stop. You'd ask me, "And?" while waiting for the rest of my thought. An adverbial clause is a dependent clause, and when it comes first, before the independent clause, it is always followed by a comma as in this example with "even if" as my subordinating conjunction ... and a bit more wisdom from Max Brooks.

Even if dependent clause, independent clause (sentence). =
Even if a zombie's body is severely damaged, it will continue to attack until nothing remains.


Here is a trunkated list of subordinating conjunctions that begin adverbial clauses:

After
Although
Even though
Though
As
As if
As though
As long as
Because
Before
If
So that
Since
Unless
Until
Whatever
When
Whenever
Where
Wherever
Whether
While


I can also flip this sentence around and keep the meaning. When these subordinating conjunctions are found in an adverbial clause that comes at the end of a sentence, DO NOT use a comma to separate the dependent and independent clauses.

Independent clause (sentence) even if dependent clause. =
It will continue to attack until nothing remains even if a zombie's body is severely damaged.

Having said all of that, understand that publishing houses often have their own editing rules based on how much they want to pay in ink during production. I've read several very successful books recently whose editors chose to drop the comma from the initial adverbial clause. However, when soliciting editors and agents, it's important to show them you know the rules. Otherwise, your novel excerpt, picture book manuscript, article or query letter will often be thrown into the trash -- and for a writer, that is a demise uglier and more vicious than any apocalyptic zombie attack.

Bring on the Grammar!

I've noticed in my critique groups that grammar is still an Achilles heel with many of the group members. Even the most seasoned writers who I'm lucky to work with sometimes question where that comma should go or if their adjective clause is modifying the correct noun. If you just said, "What the...?" then you are in luck! Since I taught grammar to international students for thirteen years, I thought I'd throw out some of my knowledge to the blogosphere before it shrivels into nothing and disintegrates with the rest of my brain cells. I'll be posting some grammar rules to help my fellow writers find their way along the dark, often murky sentential path. So check in periodically, check it out, and get grammar-savvy!